Sailor Moon's Elimidate
by Mizu-Hotaru
Summary: Brief summary: On tonight’s elimidate, Usagi has to make a decision between four guys; will she choose Mamoru, Seiya, Yaten, or Fiore? Find out when you DECIDE TO READ MY STORY! By me, mermaid Melisa!
1. Elimidate

Disclaimer: Okay, here we go. I do not own Sailor moon, Inu Yasha, Card Captors, Yu-Gi-Oh!, Cinamark theaters, Dragon Ball-Z, Geico, Klondike bars, Judge Judy, Family Feud, Tenchi Muyo, Love Hina, Elimidate, Revolutionary girl Utena, Dairy Queen, Gundam Wing, Any phone sex lines, or Meow mix! Now ur probably wondering "What kind of fan fic is this shit?!" ha ha, well enjoy! To flamers or possible flamers: "The contents of this story is not to offend you, it's to make you laugh" Last note: ((for those who've never watched elimidate)): "Elimidate is a late night reality date show. One girl gets four guys to choose from on who she wants to be with. During the date with them, all of them get to give comments on one another as the show is in play, so when you read ((Camera on 'Guys name here')) that means they are making a comment on that moment , they're not actually saying that to the camera as they sit with one another during that current scene. I hope u under stood so any who, enjoy the story! R+R PLEASE!"  
  
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"Hi, I'm Usagi Tsukino!" Usagi smiled, facing the camera "I've recently turned 17 and also recently separated from my long time relationship with Mamoru Chiba. I'm looking for a man that can honestly fight with out using Martha Stuart methods, someone actually funny and someone who will honestly fall in love with me and not with our future daughter. Though I seem just like the average girl, I'm really an agent of love and justice, Eternal Sailor Moon."   
  
((Usagi:: Waiting patiently for her four mystery dates at the front of Minako Aino's house: ))   
  
((Usagi narrating)) : "I decided to meet everyone in front of my friend Minako-chan's house cause..well she kind of forced me to, I don't know why.."   
  
((Minako::Behind Usagi holding up sign that says ::"Need love? Call me at 1- 800-desprate losers!"))   
  
((Camera on Seiya)): "Hi, I'm Kou Seiya"   
  
((Seiya approaches Usagi))   
  
((Camera on Seiya)): "I'm the lead singer in the band 'Three Lights'. I've just turned 17 a few days ago and I love red....and Odango"   
  
"SEIYA!" Usagi gives Seiya a hug.   
  
Seiya: "Odango!"   
  
((Camera on Seiya)): "When I saw Odango, wow, she hasn't changed a bit..it was worth the travel and I'm definitely gonna win this.::Eyes camera:: I am!! Hey, that was a year ago, Odango will definitely be mines!!"   
  
((Camera on Yaten)): "ugh.."   
  
((Camera man whispers)): "Introduce yourself Yaten!"   
  
"Ugh, fine.." Yaten rolls his eyes, gently brushing his bangs aside, "I'm Kou Yaten and I don't know why I'm here. For one, no one can be good enough for me because.pppt! I mean, c'mon, just look at me, I'm prettier then her!"   
  
((Yaten approaches Usagi and Seiya))   
  
"Yaten-kun?!" Usagi was surprised and hugged Yaten.   
  
"Hey!" Yaten pushed Usagi away, "Watch the hair!"   
  
((Camera on Yaten)): "When I saw Usagi, she just jumped me out of no where, god-don't hate cuz I wasn't hit with the ugly stick!"   
  
((Camera on Usagi)): "I don't really know what that was about."   
  
((Camera on Seiya)): "Seeing that Yaten was a competitor, I'm sorry but I think not! I mean c'mon, he's obviously confused about who's important here!"   
  
((Camera on Yaten)): "Seiya was there.::Sarcasm:: Gee, I never would've guessed."   
  
((Camera on Mamoru)): "Hi I'm Mamoru Chiba.."   
  
((Mamoru approaches))   
  
((Camera on Mamoru)): "I'm here to win back Usako, ::Scuffs:: I mean, I really don't know why I broke up with her! Okay, y'see, I had this dream and---"   
  
((Camera cuts off and goes straight to Mamoru approaching Usagi))   
  
"MAMO-CHAN?!!" Usagi freaked "What are you doing here?!"   
  
((Camera on Seiya)): "My words exactly!"   
  
((Camera on Yaten)) ::Filing his nails:: "Oh-god, I think I broke a nail."   
  
"Usako, this is for you.." Mamoru handed Usagi a red rose ".I still love you and I want you back.."   
  
Usagi: (Blushes)   
  
((Camera on Seiya)): "Pppt! My Ass!"   
  
((Camera on Usagi)): "I was gonna freak until he pulled out that beautiful rose! ::Squeals::"   
  
"Oh-Mamo-chan, it's--" Usagi smelled it, "-It's PLASTIC?!"   
  
Seiya & Yaten : (snickers)   
  
"What, you didn't think I'd spent two dollars on a rose, did you?!" Mamoru scuffed.   
  
((Camera on Usagi)) : "Oough!! That son of a ::Beep::"  
  
"Here you go Odango.." Seiya then pulled out a real red rose and handed it to Usagi, "I think you're worth the two dollars and then some.."   
  
"Oh-Seiya." Usagi blushed deeply.   
  
((Camera on Mamoru )): "Can you believe that?! He actually spent two dollars!! Tss-well someone's walkin' home two dollars richer tonight, tss- yeah!..::Scuffs:: two dollars, as if."   
  
((Camera on Yaten)): "........Huh, what happened?"   
  
((Camera man )): "Never mind.. ::Sweat drops::"   
  
((Camera on Fiore)): "Hi I'm Fiore and uhh, I'm Mamoru's child hood friend. I tried to come back to reunite but-uhh ::Scratches head, acting hurt:: tss-yeah, he blew me off!"   
  
((Camera man)): (whispers): "Talk about yourself or Usagi!"   
  
((Camera on Fiore)): "No! The hell with Usagi, I'm here to win back the man I love, we will be together again!!"   
  
((Camera man)) ::Sweatdrops:: "God who picks these weirdos?"   
  
((Camera on Fiore)): "Yeah!! GAY PRIDE!!! I'm here and I'm Queer and when I'm done, Mamoru will come back to me!!!"   
  
((Fiore approaches))   
  
"Fiore?!" Usagi's mouth dropped "uhh, well, uhh-okay, hi.."   
  
((Camera on Usagi)): "I was so surprised!"   
  
Usagi went to give Fiore a hug but he just pushed her aside and hugged Mamoru.   
  
Fiore: "Mamo-chan!"   
  
Mamoru: "oh-uh, yeah, hey there.."   
  
((Camera on Usagi)): "What the hell?!"   
  
((Camera on Seiya)): "Okay, who exactly is he competing for?"   
  
((Camera on Yaten)): "Yes-yes, these are my real eyes, not contacts, it is possible to look this good.."   
  
((Camera man))::Sweat drops::   
  
"Okay, so I thought we'd take a stroll around the block and get to know each other.." Usagi said, walking with Seiya on her right, Mamoru on her left, Yaten on Seiya's right, and Fiore on Mamoru's left, blowing in his ear.   
  
"But since we already know each other, how 'bout you all tell me one thing I don't know about you." Usagi continued "Let's start with you Yaten-kun.."   
  
Yaten: (Rolls eyes): "Ugh...uhh, well,.."   
  
Usagi: "Think about it, is there anything you never told me?"   
  
Yaten: "Oh-yeah, I slept with Luna!"   
  
"Uh?!" Everyone stared at Yaten.   
  
((Camera on Mamoru)): "Luna as in the cat or person?"   
  
((Camera on Fiore)): "Who?! Hey, don't you just love what Mamoru's wearing? A pink spandex shirt, ohh-yeah!"   
  
((Camera on Seiya)): "He had sex with Blackie?! 0.0;;"   
  
((Camera on Usagi)): "Luna..Luna the cat?! Ew!"   
  
"Uhh...Fiore?" Usagi pulled her odd stares away from Yaten to Fiore, "How about you?"   
  
"Oh well since that day Mamoru chose you over me, I've been jerking off to small snapshots I took of him in the shower." Fiore answered quickly without pause.   
  
Mamoru: "DUDE!"   
  
"Uah?!!" Usagi & them became wide eyed and moved away from Fiore.   
  
((Camera on Seiya)):"FAGET! FAGET! FAGET!!"   
  
Usagi: "O-kay, um, Mamo-chan, how about you-ahh!"   
  
Usagi tripped, crashing into Yaten who walked head of her.   
  
Seiya: "Odango!"   
  
Mamoru: "Usako!"   
  
Fiore: "Mamo-chan, you okay?!!"   
  
"Oh-my -god! Oh my god!" Yaten pushed Usagi off him and desperately pulled out a beauty compact, looking at himself, "okay...no permanent scratches, no burses..oh my god, my hair, is that a split end?! Oh my god!  
  
((Camera on Seiya)): "And oh my god-is he a man or a 'Cover Girl'?!"  
  
"Odango are you alright?!" Seiya lightly touched Usagi's face as he helped her up.  
  
"Mamoru, you hurt?!" Fiore kept trying to touch Mamoru.   
  
"Get off me!" Mamoru shoved him off as he whispered.   
  
((Camera on Seiya)): "Okay I think I was the only one who realized that 'Odango' was the one who actually fell!!"   
  
"Oh-I'm fine." Usagi chuckled, "Just a little clumsy...uhh, so Mamo-chan, anything you never told me?"   
  
Mamoru: "Uhh, well, you know that waitress, Lizzy, at the Fruit parlor?"   
  
Usagi: "uh-huh?"   
  
Mamoru: "Well I was sort of messin' around with her around the time we first met Haruka & Michiru.."   
  
Usagi: "WHAT?!!"   
  
((Camera on Yaten))::Chuckles:: "Heh, now that's definitely something she didn't know!"   
  
((Camera on Fiore)): "Well, uhh-yeah! I was a little hurt! I mean, why couldn't he let me give him sexual comfort, I'M ALL THE MAN HE NEEDS!!!!!!!!!!"   
  
((Camera on Seiya)): "I think we all knew this already."   
  
((Camera on Usagi))::Crying and sobbing:: "ugh!.Ma-Mamo-chan, ugh!"   
  
"WAP!!!" Usagi then slapped Mamoru.   
  
Mamoru: "Hey!"   
  
"Mamo-chan, are you alright?!" Fiore freaked out and then went in Usagi's face, pointing his finger, "Okay now you listen here Chika, no one slaps my man and gets away with it!"   
  
Usagi: "Eh?!"   
  
((Camera on Seiya)): "Chika? Last time I checked, this was Japan not Puerto Rico!"   
  
Mamoru then pulled Fiore aside and said in a low mad tone, "Okay why don't you stop this, your embarrassing the both of us!"   
  
Fiore: "But-"   
  
Mamoru: "Just keep it shut!"   
  
((Camera on Fiore)): "But I love you Mamo-chan! ::Cries:: I LOVE YOU!!!!! I thought that meant something to you!!"   
  
"Real smooth, Mamoru-san." Seiya chuckled as he held Usagi's hand.   
  
"Oh-yeah, what's your secret that you haven't told Usagi-huh?!" Mamoru spat out.   
  
Usagi (smiles): "Yeah, what is it?"   
  
"Well." Seiya smiled adorably and then whispered in her ear.   
  
Usagi: "Uh?!" (Turns beet red)   
  
Mamoru: "Wha-?"   
  
Seiya & Usagi : ((Smiling at each other))   
  
((Camera on Mamoru)) : "Oh-please, whispering bullshit in her ear isn't gonna get you no where, this round is mine's, you hear me Seiya?! In spite of whatever the ::Beep:: you said!"   
  
((Camera on Seiya)): "Let's just say I left it all up to her imagination, heh heh.."   
  
((Camera on Fiore))::Moping:: "I wish I could whisper sweet nothings in Mamo-chan's ear.."   
  
((Camera on Yaten))::Fixing hair:: "How's my hair?.huh, what?!"   
  
((Camera man whispers)): "Your hair's fine now will you comment about what happened already?!"   
  
((Camera on Yaten)): "....Huh, what happened?"   
  
((Camera man))::Sweat drops:: "Forget it."   
  
((Camera on Usagi)): "Oh-so you wanna know what Seiya told me? ::Mouth's words:: 10 inches!"   
  
((Show narrator)): "Who will Usagi cut first, will it be Seiya, Yaten, Mamoru or Fiore?"   
  
((Camera on Seiya)): "I definitely hope Mamoru gets cut, I mean c'mon, he already lost her, he ain't gonna get her back, Odango's not that naïve, is she??"   
  
((Camera on Fiore)): "Well I just hope me and Mamo-chan don't get cut, I haven't won him over yet!"   
  
((Camera on Mamoru)): 'I know it wont be me, ppt, with all the crap I got away with, she never broke it off and besides, she cant anyways cuz we have to be together in the future, dua!!"   
  
((Camera on Yaten)): "Oh-please, I'm to pretty to be cut! And I don't intend on ever being cut by her! Oh my god, is that a gray hair?!!"   
  
((Camera man whispers)): "What?! Your hair is gray you conceited ::Beep::!!" 


	2. Commercials 1

((Commercials))   
  
Narrator:: "On the next Judge Judy, Card Captor Sakura sues her creators, Clamp, for drawing her with no tits!"   
  
Sakura: "I'm a woman to, I have rights and I want tits!"  
  
Clamp: (The little fox boy) : "Okay-fine, We'll give you breasts and they'll be just as good as the endings of our stories!"   
  
Sakura: "Is that some kind of sick joke?!"   
  
Narrator: "Find out what happens on the next Judge Judy, 6-7 central, Monday after noon."   
  
((Next commercial))   
  
Luna and Sailor Tin Nyanko sit down and start to sing, "Meow meow meow meow, Meow meow meow meow, Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow! Meow meow meow meow, Meow meow meow meow, Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow! Meow, Meow, Meow!"   
  
Narrator: "Meow Mix, you heard it, they said it, give your cat a treat that'll make 'em sing"   
  
Luna::Sings:: "So Meow mix Meow mix, please de-li-ver!"   
  
((Next commercial))  
  
Narrator: "On the Next Family Feud! It gets really heated up between the family of Tenchi Muyo Vs The family of Love Hina!"   
  
"We're not a family but good enough to kick your HINATA ASS!!!" Ryoko shouted across at the cast of Love Hina with vampire teeth.   
  
"BLOW ME, MONKEY GIRL!!!!" Naru spat out with fire in her eyes.   
  
"THAT'S IT!!!!" Ryoko tried to jump over the counter but Tenchi and the girls held her back, "Ryoko control yourself!!!"   
  
"Come and get it!!" Naru went to jump over the counter as well until Keitaro and the girls held her back, "Come on, I'll KICK UR ASS!!!"   
  
"OVER MY DEAD BODY YOU BUNCH OF CLONES!!!" Ryoko spat fire.   
  
Naru; "What the hell's that supposed to mean?!!"   
  
"OH LIKE YOUR CREATOR DIDN'T TOTTALY BITE OFF USED MATERIAL!!!" Ryoko continued to shout.  
  
Naru & Keitaro: "Huh?"   
  
Ryoko: "Oh C'mon!!! One ugly guy living with like 7 beautiful women that actually fall in love with him, u freakin POSERS! We oughta sue your ASSES!!!! YOU PLAGERISERS!!!"   
  
Tenchi:: Sweat drops :: "Ugly???"   
  
Keitaro:: Sweat drops:: "That's kind of harsh"   
  
Narrator: "On the next family Feud! 8-7 central weekdays!" 


	3. Elimidate

((Theme song)): "Elimidate! Dunana, Elimidate! Dunana, Elimidate!"  
  
"Okay guys.." Usagi held Seiya and Mamoru's hand, "...I had a good time so far, but this is Elimidate and unfortunately one of you has to go so--"  
  
"Don't bother!" Yaten rolled his eyes and walked off "I'm eliminating myself, ciao!"  
  
Usagi: "Oh...well to bad.."  
  
((Camera on Usagi)): "I was planning to cut Fiore, but if Yaten wants to go, that's fine, I was probably gonna cut him anyways!"  
  
((Camera on Yaten)): "Please, like I would ever date Usagi! Do you see the way she tries to get all the attention, have you ever met some one so conceded?!"  
  
((Camera man))::Sweat drops:: "Well.."  
  
((Yaten walks away as he narrates)): "Now if you'll excuse me, I am in need for a facial!"   
  
((Usagi Narrates)): "Alright, for the second date, I thought I'd take the guys to the 'Fruit Parlor' for some ice cream and y'know, loosen up."   
  
Usagi wore a small peach dress.   
  
Seiya showed up in a black t and black jeans.   
  
Mamoru showed up in the same tight pink shirt and wore purple shorts.   
  
((Camera on Seiya))::sings:: "Who wears short shorts?!"   
  
Fiore then showed up in a Pirate's puffy white shirt and tight silver sequence bell bottom pants.   
  
Usagi: "uh, Fiore, interesting taste in clothes."   
  
((Camera on Seiya)): "Tss-yeah, for a BIG FLAMING HOMO!!"   
  
((Camera on Usagi)): "I couldn't tell if he was really just that flashy or if he was a Christmas ornament!"   
  
((Camera on Fiore)): "Tss, that bitch is just jealous cuz she didn't think of this first! I totally got Mamoru's attention now!"   
  
((Camera on Mamoru)): "I wouldn't even wear that!!"   
  
((Camera on Seiya)): "And that says a lot!"   
  
((Usagi Narrates)): "We all ordered ice cream Sundays and took a seat, giving us time to chat a little more.."   
  
Usagi: "So-uhh, any of you guys want to comment on what each other's wearing?"   
  
"Uhh-yeah!" Seiya smirked, "Uhh, Fiore, I like the outfit!"   
  
Fiore: "Oh well than--"   
  
Seiya; "I mean really, no other disco ball could shine up the room as much as you do!"   
  
Mamoru and Usagi: (snickers)   
  
Fiore: "Excuse me, but I wouldn't talk Mr. Black shirt!"   
  
Seiya: (laughs) : "Oh, ouch, that hurts. ::Scuffs::"  
  
Fiore: "Whatever, I wasn't wearing this for her anyways!"   
  
((Camera on Seiya)): "OBVIOUSLY!"   
  
"Well of course-of course!" Seiya grinned as he placed his arm around Usagi's shoulder, "Y'know, me and Usagi could just leave you two love birds alone if you want.."   
  
Fiore: "Well--"   
  
"Why don't you go home with Fiore!!" Mamoru snapped, "I mean, you can just transform so there you go!"   
  
"You son of a--" Seiya and Mamoru got up to fight, but Usagi cut in saying, "Okay-Okay, calm down you two!"   
  
((Camera on Fiore))::Teary eyes:: "Oh-my-god! You saw that right?! My baby was defending our love!!"   
  
((Camera Man))::Sweat Drops:: "What?! Did you even hear what they said?!!"   
  
((Camera on Fiore))::Heart eyes and drool:: "Mamo-chan loves me!!"   
  
((Camera man))::Sweat drops::   
  
As Lizzy, the waitress, placed down the Sundays, she smiled at Mamoru who winked her way.   
  
Usagi & Fiore: (Evil eyes)   
  
Seiya then dabbed ice cream on Usagi's bottom lip and grinned, "Oh let me get that for you Odango.."   
  
Seiya then started kissing her.   
  
((Camera on Usagi)): "..Wow!"   
  
((Camera on Seiya)): "I could see that Odango was upset, so how else could I cheer her up?"   
  
While Usagi and Seiya kissed, Fiore dripped ice cream on Mamoru's ear and said, "Oops, let me get that, Mamo-chan!"   
  
Fiore then started nibbling on Mamoru's ear.   
  
"Hey!!" Mamoru pushed him off, "What the hell's wrong with you?!"   
  
Seiya & Usagi: (chuckles)   
  
Fiore: "But Mamo-chan, I love--"   
  
"That's it!" Mamoru pulled Fiore away.   
  
((Camera on Seiya)): "While the two love birds stepped away, I took advantage of the moment of privacy with Odango and kissed her again."   
  
Pulling Fiore to the side, Mamoru snapped, "Now listen, we are not together and never will be!"   
  
Fiore: "But-"   
  
Mamoru: "But nothing, I ended this a long time ago, it's over! And stop calling me Mamo-chan! You're like a desperate dog in heat!!"   
  
"But--"Fiore felt wounded as Mamoru went back to the booth.   
  
((Camera on Fiore))::Crying::   
  
Just when Usagi was going to feed Seiya the cherry from her ice cream Sunday, Mamoru cut in and pulled her hand his way saying, "Feed it to me Usako."   
  
Seiya: "Excuse me; this is my cherry, why don't you back off!"   
  
Mamoru: "Back off? Usako's mines!!"   
  
Seiya: "Not anymore!"   
  
They both fought over her cherry.   
  
0.0;; ((Note: "If u just found that last part really funny, u are a pervert like us! Ha ha))   
  
Mamoru: "That cherry's mines!"   
  
Seiya: "Mines!"   
  
Usagi::Sweatdrops::   
  
Mamoru: "It's mines!!"   
  
"HEY LOOK, IS THAT CHIBI-USA?!" Seiya pointed behind Mamoru.   
  
"WHERE?!" Mamoru immediately turned his head as Seiya ate the cherry.   
  
Usagi: (giggles)   
  
Mamoru: "Hey! That was a dirty trick!!"   
  
((Camera on Seiya)): "Hey, I'm not the pedophile here!"   
  
((Narrator of show)): "Who will Usagi cut next, will it be Seiya, Mamoru, or Fiore?"   
  
((Camera on Seiya)): "I think definitely Fiore; he's obviously competing for a different gender!"   
  
((Camera on Mamoru)): "It won't be me, y'know why? One word, Chibi-usa!"   
  
((Camera on Fiore))::Crying:: 


	4. Commercials 2

((Commercials))  
  
((Inu Yasha and Kagome traveling threw the forest like usual))   
  
Narrator: "Tired of traveling to stall the moment when you two will finally start acting like a real couple?!"   
  
(Kagome stops and faces camera): "Why-yes. What . Should. We. Do?"   
  
Inu Yasha: "I'm. So. Horny."   
  
Narrator: "No worries there any longer you two, just come to Cinamark theaters where you can get your mac on!"   
  
Inu Yasha::Looks at cue cards:: "But. What-about that stalking-bitch, Kikyo?!"   
  
Narrator: "Don't worry, if you make the matinee, we'll personally take care of that problem for you!"   
  
(Kikyo suddenly gets tackled down by Goku, Vegeta, King Kobe, Super Sayian Gohan and Trunks)   
  
Narrator: "There, having fun you two?!"   
  
(Inu Yasha & Kagome making out like animals in the movie theater)   
  
"Oh-yes, we love Cinamark Theaters!!" Kagome and Inu Yasha smiles.   
  
Narrator: "Come to Cinamark theaters!!"   
  
"And don't forget to check out the concession stand!!" Goku smiles just as Vegeta pushes him out the picture saying, "Damn it Kakarrot, cant you see this commercial's over?!!"   
  
((Next Commercial))  
  
(Yugioh & Kaiba in the middle of a duel))   
  
Kaiba: "I summon Sagi the Dark clown in attack mode, your move Yugi."   
  
"Hmm." Yugioh drew a card from his deck and then eyed Kaiba, "I have great news, Kaiba!"   
  
Kaiba: "What? You discovered my plan to combine my clown with a trap card to infect your deck?!"   
  
Yugioh: "No, I just saved a lot of money on my car insurance, but thanks for telling me your strategy!"   
  
"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Kaiba falls to knees with despair.   
  
Narrator: "Geico, 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance!" 


	5. Elimidate

((Theme song)): "Elimidate! Dunana ,Elimidate! Dunana, Elimidate!"  
  
"Well here we are again and sadly, I have to cut one of you.." Usagi sighed, ".and Fiore, I'm gonna have to cut you, I'm sorry."  
  
Seiya: "Bu-Bye!"  
  
Mamoru: (Sighs in Relief)   
  
Fiore: (Crying) "Wh-Whatever!"   
  
Usagi: "I'm sorry it's just you seemed more into Mamo-chan then me and.."   
  
"Mamoru? Pppt! Pleas! As if!" Fiore scuffed with dry tears and then ran off crying with his arms flaring like a girl.   
  
((Camera man chases the crying Fiore to get final words)): "Fiore, any last words?!"   
  
"FUCK OFF!" Fiore sobbed and continued running like a little girl.   
  
((Camera on Mamoru))::Shakes head::   
  
((Camera on Seiya)): "Tss-heh, surprised Mamoru didn't go with him."  
  
"Okay, on the last date, I decided to take Seiya and Mamoru to Tokyo Tower, I heard fire works were being set tonight, it should be romantic." Usagi narrates as she waits for the guys at the binocular meters.   
  
((Seiya narrates as he approaches)): "I figured it might have to come down to me vs. Mamoru-san, but that's okay, I'm always up for a good competition!"   
  
((Camera on Yaten & Taiki?)):   
  
Taiki: "Oh-dear lord, Seiya's competing with Mamoru-san. Looks like we're gonna have to deal with a sore loser on the way home."   
  
Yaten: (Curling his eyelashes) : "Huh? Uh-why the hell are we here?!"   
  
Taiki::Sweat drops:: "Excuse him.."   
  
((Camera man zooms in on Taiki's huge forehead )): "Good god!"   
  
"Hey!" Taiki smothered the camera with his hand, "For your info, girls find it sexy!"   
  
((Mamoru narrates as he approaches in black t and black jeans)): "There's no competition, me and Usako are destined to be together, so it doesn't matter how much I screw up. Tss, why should I even care, but I decided to wear all black to remind her of how she almost lost me to Beryl.heh, she won't know what hit her!"   
  
Seeing Seiya and Mamoru on her left and right, she grew confused and Said, "Uhh, what's with the black guys???"  
  
  
  
"Huh?" Mamoru then realized he wore the same out fit as Seiya.   
  
"Real smart, dumb ass!" Seiya spat out, "Couldn't handle the pressure so your taking my look?!"   
  
Mamoru: "Hey, fuck you!"   
  
"No thanks.." Seiya then pulled out his red jacket, "It's alright Odango, now you can tell us apart!"   
  
Usagi: (Smiles)   
  
Mamoru: "Grrr"   
  
((Camera on Mamoru)): "I can't believe she likes this transsexual! That fagot needs to go back to where he came from!!"   
  
"Gee, I would love to catch a better view of Tokyo.." Usagi gave puppy dog eyes as she held the binoculars machine, "Does anyone of you have any change?"   
  
"Um." Seiya and Mamoru searched their pockets.   
  
"Uh!" Mamoru then spotted a blind man begging for change.   
  
"Change sir, ma'am?" The blind man begged.   
  
"Fuck off you HOBO!!" Mamoru took his cup of change and kicked him away.   
  
"Uh?!" Usagi and Seiya got sweat drops.   
  
((Camera on Usagi)): "Should I be flattered or scared?"   
  
((Camera on Seiya)): "He stole money from a homeless-blind man, what does that tell you?!!"   
  
"Here you go Usako." Mamoru grinned as he gave Usagi some change.   
  
Usagi::sweat drops:: "Um, thank you Mamo-chan..0.0;;"   
  
Mamoru: (Stares at Seiya with a 'I win' glare) "Heh heh."   
  
Seiya: (Shakes head)   
  
((Camera on Mamoru)): "He's just pissed he didn't think of it first and now Usako's all mines!"   
  
"Uh-help?" Usagi seemed too short to look in the binoculars.   
  
"Here!" Seiya beat Mamoru to it and grabbed Usagi by the waist, lifting her up, "Better?"   
  
"Oh-yes, thank you Seiya!" Usagi replied.   
  
Seiya grinned back at Mamoru.   
  
((Camera on Mamoru)): "Whatever!"   
  
"Hey guys, there's a party down stairs, care to dance?" Usagi smiled.   
  
Seiya & Mamoru: "Sure!"   
  
Out on the dance floor, Seiya had Usagi's front since Mamoru put dibs on the back.   
  
((Camera on Seiya)): "Yeah, I bet he likes a lot of things from behind!"   
  
Usagi wrapped her arms around Seiya's neck as they became closer while dancing.   
  
Mamoru shot his pelvis at Usagi's butt with his hands behind his head, "Hu- yeah!!!"   
  
((Camera on Seiya)): "You see what me and Usagi are doing Mamoru, it's called DANCING, learn it!"   
  
All of a sudden, Usagi stepped back and slipped.   
  
"Ah!" Usagi fell back, expecting Mamoru to catch her but fell to the floor, "Ugh...huh?"   
  
There, Usagi spotted Mamoru had drifted off to the kids dancing section of 7-10 year olds, dancing.   
  
((Camera on Usagi)): "Damn it Mamo-chan! Just like the time when he saved this little pink haired brat from falling off a railing on Halloween, and then gave the little runt this rose crest ring he was supposed to give me!!!"   
  
((Camera man)): "Utena???"   
  
As Seiya helped Usagi up, they watched Mamoru trying to dance with a group of little girls.   
  
"AAAIIIIEEEEEE, he's gonna rape me!!! Mommy!!!" The little girls cried.   
  
((Camera on Seiya)): "Okay last time I checked, his name was Mamoru not R Kelly!"  
  
"MAMO-CHAN!!" Usagi spat out as Mamoru came back over, "What the hell are you doing?!!"   
  
Mamoru: "Huh?"   
  
Seiya: "Yeah, we're here to win Odango's heart, not pee on little girl's faces!"   
  
"OKAY, THAT'S IT, YOU AND ME!!!" Mamoru yelled.   
  
"YOU'RE ON!" Seiya then got into a fight with Mamoru.   
  
Usagi:: Sweat drops :: "Guys?"   
  
((Narrator of Show)): "Who will Usagi cut, will it be Seiya or Mamoru, find out after this short break." 


	6. Commercials 3

((Commercials))  
  
(Duo and Heero sitting down)  
  
Duo holds two cups of ice cream upside down as he sings, "Wu-wu-wu-wu-wu-wu- wu Dude! Dude!"  
  
(Heero shakes hands as if he's playing drums as he shakes head up and down like a rock star)  
  
Duo: (Singing): "Wu-wu-wu-wu-wu-wu-wu Dude! Dude!"  
  
Duo raises cups, "DUWA-DUWA! DUWA-DUWA! DU-DU-DU-DA DUDE, DA DUDE!!"  
  
(Freezes)  
  
Narrator: "Wanna know how thick Dairy Queen's new blizzards are? Come by today and buy one for 2.99$!"  
  
"DUWA-DUWA! DUWA-DUWA!" Duo yelped as he held ice cream up high.  
  
Heero: (Still rocking head like a rock star)  
  
Duo: "DUWA-DUWA! DUWA-DUWA!"  
  
((Next Commercial))  
  
(Bulma runs up in the picture with microphone and approaches Goku and Vegeta in the middle of battle)  
  
"I will finally destroy you Kakarrot!!!" Vegeta roars.  
  
"I--Huh??" Goku stops powering up once he sees Bulma approaching him, "Oh hi Bulma!"  
  
"HI Goku! I have an important question for you!!" Bulma approached, "Got a minute?!"   
  
"WOMAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING??!!!!" Vegeta shouted from across the open disserted field, "CANT YOU SEE WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF BATTLE?!!!"   
  
Bulma: "Sorry sweetie, it'll just be a second!!"   
  
Vegeta:: Sweat drops ::   
  
Goku: "So what's up Bulma?"   
  
Bulma: "Goku, would you be willing to lose this battle for Vegeta's sake?"   
  
(Bulma leans in microphone)   
  
Goku::Sweat drops:: "Well I did that once before and Vegeta was not too happy about it if you remember, heh heh.."   
  
"WHAT ARE YOU TWO IMBOCILES TALKING ABOUT?!!!" Vegeta shouted.   
  
Goku: "Sorry Bulma, I can't do it."   
  
"Would you do it for a Klondike Bar???" Bulma offered him a Klondike bar.   
  
"Hmm." Goku's eyes wandered.   
  
(Klondike theme song) : "For that chocolate coded ice cream loaded big red thick no room for a sti-ck, what would you do-o, for a Klondike bar?!"   
  
(Goku on the ground beaten to a bloody pulp, eating a Klondike bar)   
  
"YOU TRICKED ME KAKARROT, YOU LET ME WIN FOR A--KLONDIKE BAR??!!!!!!!" Vegeta spat fire.   
  
"Hey it was worth it!!" Goku smiled as he ate his Klondike bar with a black eye. "yum!"   
  
Vegeta: "Kakarrot, are you listening to me you demented moron?!!!"   
  
Bulma: (Giggles)   
  
(Klondike ending theme) "What would you dooo, for a Klondike bar?!"   
(Next Commercial)  
  
(::Erotic Music begins to play:: )  
  
"Looking for some fun baby, but to tired to come to us?" Said the seductive voice of Michiru who wore skimpy lingerie along with Setsuna, Minako, Princess Kakyu, Rei, and Ami.   
  
"Well don't worry baby, we'll come to you, just call 1-800-Sailor Sluts, our sailor duties will really knock you off your feet!" Michiru said as her and the others did vulgar x rated poses, "Please call now where you can really punch it in!.your credit card # that is."   
  
Setsuna: "Please call, we're sooo lonely!"   
  
Minako:"Call now and get the two for one special and you'll really find out why they call me the goddess of love ::Moans::"   
  
Michiru: "What's that, you forgot the number, well don't worry, it's easy to remember, 1-800-Sailor Sluts!"   
  
"Wanna really know where I was hiding when I came to earth?" Princess Kakyu moved around sexually as she said erotically, "I was hiding down Tuxedo masks pants and trust me when I tell you this, his 'star seed' tastes really go-od!"  
  
  
  
Michiru: "Please call us now, we're waiting, and don't forget, it's 1-800- Sailor Sluts, we're waiting!"   
  
"We're waiting!" The others moaned.   
  
(:: Erotic music Fades :: )   
  
((Next Commercial))   
  
(Inu Yasha and Kagome kissing in her bedroom)   
  
"Oh-Inu Yasha.." Kagome pulls away, "I love you, but I don't know if I can keep seeing you as long as you're with Kikyo."   
  
Inu Yasha: "But I have good news Kagome."   
  
"You're leaving Kikyo?" Kagome asked as she had her back to him.   
  
Inu Yasha: "No, I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance."   
  
"Ugh!" Kagome stormed off upset.   
  
"I Saved!" Inu Yasha narrowed his eyes, "I thought that meant something to you!"   
  
Narrator: "Geico, 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance!" 


	7. Elimidate

((Theme song)): "Elimidate! Dunana, Elimidate! Dunana, Elimidate!"  
  
"Okay well here we are." Usagi smiled as they stood there at the railing of Tokyo Tower, "I had a really great time you guys and you have no Idea how hard this decision was for me to make."   
  
Usagi then faced Mamoru, "Mamo-chan, we've spent our entire lives together and--"   
  
"It's okay, I forgive you!" Mamoru hugged Usagi as he eyed Seiya, saying "Too bad Seiya, better off with a girl who's actually single!"   
  
Seiya:"Wha-"   
  
"And I'm sick of it!" Usagi pulled away, "And I am single! You self righteous jerk! I'm cutting you! I don't know how I could love someone who always thinks of themselves, it's over!!!"   
  
Mamoru: "Uh?!"   
  
Seiya: (Is shocked and smiles)   
  
"What-Ever!!" Mamoru snapped his fingers at them and strutted off like woman.   
  
((Camera on Mamoru)): "I give it a few days until she comes back to me! Tss, I mean please, I'm Tuxedo Mask, who could resist this babe?!"   
  
((Mamoru narrates as he heads down stairs)): "She wants to explore other people, fine, I will to!!"   
  
"AIIIEEE!!! MOMMY!!!" The little kids screamed as Mamoru entered the Jr dance section again.   
  
Seiya picked up Usagi as he spun around and kissed her, smiling, "I love you!"   
  
Usagi: "Love you too, hee hee!"   
  
((Narrator of show )): "Next time on Elimidate! Kagome must choose from the four handsome bachelors that want to claim her heart, will it be Inu Yasha, Koga, Miroku, or Sesshomaru?!"   
  
((Camera on Sesshomaru)): "Tss, tell you what, Miroku even has more of a chance with Kagome after Inu Yasha dumping her for Kikyo!"  
  
  
  
THE END   
  
::I Wuz thinking of adding this to the 'Question mark story' collection, but it wasn't pointless and dumb enough. It was meant to be funny and I hope you didn't take offence to anything cuz it wasn't meant to be, just to be funny, unless you don't have a sense of humor. Oh-well, please R+R! I love reviews, whether good or good, but I mostly prefer good, heh heh. Love love, Mermaid Melisa is out! Oh, by the way, there was one more commercial that I hadn't get to put in the story, didn't feel it was good enough but I still didn't want it to go to waste so hope u like it::  
  
((Next Commercial))  
  
(Bulma and Chi chi watching their husband and the guys practicing battle tactics out on the desert field)  
  
Bulma: (Moans in Pain)  
  
"Huh, Bulma are you okay?" Chi chi looked to Bulma concerned.  
  
"It's these darn cramps, I HATE PERIODS!!!!!!!!! IT HURTS AND IT'S PISSING ME OFF!!!!!" Bulma spat out.  
  
Chi chi:: Sweat Drops :: "uh heh heh.."  
  
"HEY WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU WHINING ABOUT OVER THERE, CANT YOU SEE WE'RE TRYING TO CONCENTRATE?!!!!!!!!" Vegeta shouted as him, Goku and the others stopped battling.  
  
Bulma: "WHY DON'T YOU PIPE IT DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Vegeta: "How dare you speak to the prince of Saiyans that way, you weak puny woman!!!"  
  
"WHAT , THE NERVE OF YOU, I'LL SHOW YOU HOW WEAK AND PUNY I AM!!!!!!!!!" Bulma then groaned in pain as she marked her ground, and narrowed her eyes as she balled her fists.  
  
Vegeta: "What the-"  
  
Chi Chi: "oh-boy."  
  
"Huh?" Gohan and piccolo grew confused.  
  
"LET'S SEE YOU HANDLE PMS, YOU SELF OBSORBED JACKASS!!!!" Bulma then started powering up, "HUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Everyone ::Gasps Deeply::  
  
Vegeta: "How can that be!!!"  
  
Piccolo: "IT'S NOT POSSIBLE!!"  
  
Chi chi: "now Bulma calm down."  
  
"GUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Bulma then turned super saiyan 3 with long glistening lemon yellow hair.  
  
"Well, now we all know where Trunks gets his powers." Goku cracked.  
  
Vegeta: "SHUT UP KAKARROT!!"  
  
"That's amazing .." Gohan and piccolo awed in amazement.  
  
"HER POWER LEVEL'S OFF THE CHARTS, WE MUST CALM HER DOWN BEFORE SHE DESTROYS THE WHOLE PLANET!!!!!" Krillin shouted as Bulma continued to power up.  
  
"NO, IT'S NOT FAIR, I SHOULD BE THE STRONGEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Vegeta walled in anger in self pity.  
  
"Oh-quit ur bitchin and stop your wife!!" Goku smacked some sense into him.  
  
"Bulma, calm down, it's me, Chi Chi!!!" Chi chi held on to a boulder beside her to keep close.  
  
Bulma: "I CANT STOP, THESE CRAMPS, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"But I can help you, here, take some of my Midol! It'll stop the cramps, headaches, bloating, it'll make you feel much better!!" Chi chi cried out.  
  
"HUH?!" Bulma finally started to calm down as she took some midol, "o-wow, I feel much better now, thanks Chi chi!"  
  
((Bulma walks away, yelling) : "Vegeta, dinner will be ready at 8!"  
  
((Vegeta and the guys sitting up on the ground with their mouths dropped, completely speechless))  
  
Vegeta: ".ua--.."  
  
Narrator: "Midol, stop cramps and bloating fast!!"  
  
  
FIN 


End file.
